Weekend Warriors Are Awesome

Mar 1, 2022 — Bureaucracy got you down? Do you sometimes listen to Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5” daydreaming about the 5 to 9 instead? Well we’ve got something for you… Quick! Hold on to it while it lasts, make the most of it; ride easy, free, and wild: the weekend’s here and it’s yours to conquer [for a limited time only*].

F9 did you actually just pitch the weekend as a commodity? Well hold on now, put the spears down for a second you band of misfits. I’m trying to make a point here. If you’re just as outraged as me, you know that pure awesomeness away from work deserves no interruption, and most certainly can’t be bought.

The road is the battleground where our motorized horses gallop; and no one makes use of it with as much fearlessness as the weekend warrior. They leave all the crap at Monday’s metaphorical doorstep, 'cause there’s a different type of business to take care of when Saturday and Sunday roll around.

Hey, I wasn’t rambling all this time to justify why I named my bike Dolly, alright?

I have five reasons for loving the weekend warrior. But before we get to that, let’s agree on who we’re talking about.

Weekend Warrior Definition

The term “weekend warrior” is normally used to describe wannabe biker dudes. They’re all Sons of Anarchy on Sunday but more like Frasier on Monday. Cruisers take a lot of flak for producing weekend warriors, but I reckon that 3 other styles should step up to the firing line.

First is the ADV weekend warrior – dressed for Dakar but spends most of his time in Da Car. Second is the café racing hipster – publicly displaying style on the weekend, then privately nursing saddle sores for the next five days. Finally, we've got the Any Road's a Race Track if You’re Brave Enough types, overtaking any car that dares to block their way, while averaging an impressive 2-3 speeding tickets a weekend... Only if caught, that is.

So, weekend warriors can take a few different forms. And they're easy to spot:

• The weekend warrior’s bike is in mint condition. It is incredibly clean, because every 15-minute ride must be followed by a 45-minute wax and polish session. This normally takes place on the driveway so the neighbours have an unimpeded view.

• The weekend warrior’s gear is also mint. All the essential equipment – helmet, jacket, gloves, boots, belt, wallet, key chain, sunglasses with carrying pouch – forms a matching set. That’s because it was all bought from the dealership at the same time as the motorcycle. Look closely and you’ll find a BMW or Harley-Davidson logo on the weekend warrior’s socks.

• The easiest way to differentiate weekend warriors from other motorcyclists is to wait until the weather turns chilly. Or damp. Or better yet – wait until the work week starts. In these cases, the weekend warrior will vanish faster than Houdini’s bunny. 

Why Weekend Warrior Motorcyclists Are Awesome

I still have mad love for the weekend warrior. Here's why:

First – they’re the ideal previous owner when buying a used motorcycle. A weekend warrior will ride the bike enough so that it doesn’t go stale, but not nearly enough to wear it out. Plus they’ll clean and polish the crap out of it.

Second – the weekend warrior reminds me to enjoy myself. Sometimes I ride so often that I forget to take pleasure in it. My back hunches, bending at that worn-in vertebrae so my helmet is just low enough to avoid buffeting. My lips purse tight to keep the bugs out. My eyes narrow, scanning the road ahead for whichever car will endanger my life next.

Then I see the weekend warrior. Back straight as a board – partially because it hasn’t supported him for 2000 kilometers this month and partially because he still wants to feel the wind in his face. His grin is wide open, offering bugs a cushy place to land. His eyes are wide, scanning the horizon without a care in the world. I love that the weekend warrior reminds me to lighten up.

Third – the weekend warrior is a motorcyclist after all. And when you make up 1.3% of road users, you can’t afford to be picky with your love. I’m sick of hearing people say:

You’re not a real motorcyclist if you drive a car during the week.

Bullshit! I don’t care if you drive a car. I don’t care if you ride the bus. I don’t care if you scoot around on a bloody skateboard. Anybody that has a motorcycle license, owns a bike and has ridden it at least once is a “real motorcyclist”. That’s the only definition that makes sense.

Fourth – some of my friends ride further on the weekend than I do during the week. They take off on Saturday morning and turn up on Sunday evening with an extra 1000 kilometers on the odometer. Their gear is newly tattered and their bikes are held together with zip ties. These are some of the gnarliest, most skillful riders that I know. And the fact that they ride during the weekend only makes their achievements more impressive.

Fifth – weekend warriors are way less annoying than the alternative. We all know Mr. Die Hard. He never fails to point out the suspicious amount of kilometers that he racks up each year. Whenever you mention a chilly ride, Mr. Die Hard yammers on about his numerous escapades in -50ºC blizzards. And if you challenge him on any of this, you’ll get a rampaging tirade that starts and ends with:

I’ve been riding motorcycles since before you were born, sonny…

Believe me, there’s nothing worse than that guy who tries to make everyone else feel like a lesser motorcyclist.

We're All Real Motorcycle Riders

Your riding preferences are exactly that – your riding preferences. Don’t let anybody make you feel inferior for riding at a different time and less frequently than they do. That doesn’t mean you aren’t a real motorcyclist. It just means you aren’t them.

I love weekend warriors. I hunt their bikes down in Kijiji ads. I lighten up after seeing them on the road. I respect the fact that they ride at all. And I’m really impressed when they clock more kilometers than I do. Most of all, I appreciate that they lack illusions of grandeur.

We could all learn something from the weekend warrior. So show a little love!